


4x4

by twiceshy (oncebitten)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-09-28 11:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10098815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oncebitten/pseuds/twiceshy
Summary: This was mostly an experiment in writing without inspiration, which might not have been the best start.Everything is chronological with unspecified time skips.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was mostly an experiment in writing without inspiration, which might not have been the best start.
> 
> Everything is chronological with unspecified time skips.

Doyoung | Taeyong

 

"This is it then?"

 

"I guess."

 

They parted ways at graduation. They had fun while it lasted, as far as relationships were concerned. It could have been nice to let it go on for longer, but that involved sacrifices neither were willing to make.

 

Doyoung was going on upwards, admission to SNU Law and a scholarship under his belt. All the best and the brightest were going to be there, and he couldn't afford to be held down if he were going to make anything of himself.

 

Taeyong couldn't tell his family that he was gay. He'd failed them enough, he thought - got held back for a year despite having no learning disability. No talents, no plans. He was useless and they both knew it.

 

"Let's stay friends," Doyoung said, without very much investment in it. Taeyong didn't bother to play along.

 

"Have a nice life," he said. He couldn't give much, but letting go with a clean break was within his ability.

 

\---

 

Taeil | Yuta

 

"I just wish you could stay," Taeil mumbled.

 

"Me too," Yuta said. Taeil didn't really know if he understood or if he was just saying that. Taeil didn't make friends easily, and then came Yuta to stay for a semester and change his life.

 

Taeil was a little mousey in school. Nobody hated him there, but nobody really noticed him either. He was bad at starting conversations, so he never managed to find a niche friend group to talk to. He didn't know how people all managed to fall into those so naturally in uni, when most of them didn't even have more than one class together once a week.

 

He hadn't intended to sign up to host an exchange student, but his Japanese language professor gave him a push and he couldn't figure out how to say no without offending her. He ended up with Yuta.

 

Yuta came with a barrage of energy and first experiences - first trip to the skate park, first drunken make-out, first night at the club, first blowjob...first friend, really, in a sea of friendly acquaintances. Taeil didn't know anyone else who would do any of those things with him.

 

Yuta would go home to the friends he had, and Taeil's life would be small and quiet again.

 

"I'll come back and visit one day," Yuta said, like a promise. Taeil kept it in his heart foolishly even after he realised Yuta wasn't going to remember.

 

\---

 

Doyoung | Yuta

 

Yuta didn't really know why he was in South Korea again of all the places, but it gave him an excuse to replace his SIM card with a pre-paid for a while, so that was a great spontaneous decision in his book. If he understood them right, his family would be so relieved to see him alive when he finally showed his face at home that they'd be happy to forget all about their unpleasant feelings regarding his attempt to come out. And since he was now free to do whatever he wanted, he could do with a good fuck. That brought him to a club.

 

That was an even better spontaneous decision, to be honest, because he spied someone interesting, and he was going to get lucky.

 

"Hey sweet stuff," Yuta purred. He'd been eyeing this boy for an entire night, so the moment the he peeled himself away from his friends for two seconds, Yuta pounced.

 

The boy bristled until he saw Yuta's face. Then it turned to interest. Wasn't Yuta's gaydar excellent? "Are you here to dance, drink, or call it a night?"

 

Yuta grinned. "I'll take whatever you're offering."

 

The arch of the boy's eyebrow was arrogant. He had the face of someone who knew he was going places and worked to get there. Yuta was _madly_ attracted. The boy led them out of the club wordlessly.

 

Under the streetlamps, where the lights didn't change colour three times a second, Yuta could see a flush on the boy's face. He was definitely drunk. So was Yuta.

 

"You have an accent," the boy said. He didn't  _sound_ drunk but he wasn't walking in a straight line either.

 

"I'm from Osaka. What's your name, beautiful?"

 

The withering look the boy gave him was  _splendid._ "If you call me that again I'll leave. It's Doyoung."

 

Did Yuta believe in love at first sight? Hah  _maybe_. He figured you could fall in love four or five times in your life; it didn't mean you had to stay with any of them forever. He'd expected beg an old friend for shelter after running away from home but...ehh some chances only came once in a lifetime. He wondered how receptive this gorgeous creature would be to having him tag around for a week or two.

 

\---

 

Taeil | Taeyong

 

Taeil visited the PC bang daily because he had nothing better to do. He didn't really game, but it was nice to sit there and be surrounded by people. He'd stay there from the time class ended to the time it closed and everyone was kicked out. His grades were slipping. It was a weird, stupid habit he picked up after Yuta left.

 

"You go to school, right?" someone asked him, one of the nights, as he was turning to go back home. Taeil knew him - rather, Taeil  _recognised_ him, courtesy of many hours spent in proximity to one another. That person actually gamed, and he spent even more time than Taeil did there. He had a very nice side profile, usually lit by the changing colours of the computer screen, half hidden by the hood of his jacket. Taeil wondered if he ever combed his hair. He usually looked about as hopeless as Taeil felt. Taeil had never heard his voice before.

 

"Yeah," Taeil said uncomfortably. That was it for that night.

 

The next time they were kicked out, the other person stared at him. Taeil tried not to acknowledge it, but the stranger spoke anyway.

 

"You shouldn't do this," he said.

 

There was something to be said about unsolicited advice from a stranger who had worse habits than himself, yet Taeil was curious instead of offended. He dashed off after a stammering response and stayed in his dorm to think about it after classes for the next two days. When he went back on the third day, the stranger looked none too happy to see him.

 

"I thought you were going to study," he said.

 

"Why are _you_ always here?" Taeil asked with a lot of courage.

 

The stranger looked surprised, then crestfallen. "I'm too dumb for school," he said.

 

"I'm too dumb to make friends in school," Taeil confessed. "It's such a bad reason, but I feel like dropping out." He felt like he was babbling. Why was it so hard to say things he didn't immediately want to take back? Did anyone else even think he babbled? He'd been told that he was too quiet more often than he could count.

 

"Oh." The stranger bit his lip. The next round of his game loaded up but he allowed his character to die instead of going back to it. "I kind of understand, I think," he said. "I don't have friends either."

 

Taeil shifted his feet awkwardly. "It sucks," he said, unable to think of anything else to say. He was probably at his word quota for the day.

 

"Don't drop out," the stranger said kindly. "Making friends is the same no matter where you are. I'm not in school and it's not better. You should keep going."

 

What the stranger said made sense. Taeil would have realised it too, when he eventually stopped to think about it properly.

 

"Shouldn't you do something too, then?" Taeil asked. He wondered if he was being rude. Probably. Obtrusive too. This was why it was hard to talk to people; there too many lines to cross, and he was less good at identifying them than most people.

 

The stranger chewed on his lip more. "I should, huh," he said at last. He didn't seem angry, to Taeil's relief.

 

The next time Taeil dropped by, the stranger wasn't there. Taeil stopped going with some peace of mind.

 

\---

 

Doyoung | Taeil

 

Everything was good until the study drugs. With the study drugs came the dependency, which came with withdrawals, which came with a bad temper, bad behaviour, and a close brush with losing his scholarship.

 

Doyoung managed to keep it because his grades were pristine. If anyone ever found out how he managed to thrive on two hours of sleep a night it'd be gone in a heartbeat, so he flushed his remaining pills into the toilet bowl and pretended he was coping fine without them. He was glad he never told anyone he knew that he was using those, because all of his trashy acquaintances would jump on the opportunity sell him out even if they were guilty of the same. He was the biggest threat to their employment prospects. It was lonely at the top.

 

The change also marked a bid goodbye to networking and a social life, for Doyoung wouldn't be able to keep up with those unmedicated. It gave him the jitters, but he had too much pride in his self-control to get back onto the pills, so he gritted his teeth through it. 

 

The condition to keeping his scholarship was doing more community service than he ever planned to. That didn't help with his impossible schedule or his suddenly depleted energy level.

 

He winded up volunteering at a day-care centre for underprivileged kids because it was near campus. The only other person around who was vaguely his age smiled at all the kids and said about three words to Doyoung in two weeks.

 

"Shouldn't we finally introduce ourselves," Doyoung finally said when he got sick of them pretending not to notice that they were pretending not to notice each other.

 

The young man was sheepish. "Sorry, I wondered how we should start doing that."

 

"Okay? I'm Doyoung."

 

"Taeil."

 

"You're here a lot."

 

"Yeah."

 

"Are you going to say anything else?" Doyoung asked flatly.

 

Taeil blushed again. "Sorry. I'm not good at this. I...go to the arts college? It's a little far."

 

"I study next door. Are we from the same year?"

 

"I don't think so? I'm in my first year of doing my masters."

 

Doyoung's was mildly surprised. Taeil didn't carry himself with the demeanour of a graduate student. He looked and acted younger than he was.

 

"You're right," he informed him, "you should be two years older than me unless you skipped grades."

 

"...Didn't."

 

"What brings you all the way here?" Doyoung asked, before Taeil could let the stream of conversation die out again.

 

"Adults get tiring. And my ex-boyfriend dumped me, so-" he clammed up abruptly.

 

"Hey it's okay," Doyoung said quickly, before he could panic or something. Doyoung didn't have it in him to deal with things like that these days.

 

...but he _could_ deal with a non-burdensome relationship. Doyoung give Taeil a proper once-over. Then he smiled brightly. "You're _cute_ ," he in said a low tone, intent unmistakable. Taeil was somewhat shy, but Doyoung could handle that. Besides, he seemed genuine, and Doyoung was _craving_ genuine in his life.

 

Taeil turned a delightful shade of pink. What a promising start.

 

\---

 

Taeyong | Yuta

 

There was a beautiful person sitting on a bench in the park with a sketchbook in hand and his legs crossed at the knee. It was the sort of profile one saw once in a lifetime, all precise features and sharp angles. His hair blew in the light breeze. Yuta was tempted to take a picture, but why do that when you could talk instead?

 

He approached the bench from behind...and laughed in disbelief. The lovely thing almost fell out of his seat in fright.

 

"WHAT?"

 

"I thought you were going to be an artist," Yuta sniggered.

 

Yuta expected the living angel to get mad but he just sighed. He flipped to the back of his sketchbook and struck a line of words off. It took a moment for Yuta to process the words, his memory rusty from disuse.

 

"You're Korean," Yuta realised. "Hello," he said, swapping languages.

 

"You speak it!"

 

"Yeah, I studied there for..." he searched for the word semester but his mind drew a blank, so he filled it in in Japanese. He had to get back into practice fast, because he was graced by the presence of a quirky beautiful male person whom he was _almost_ certain was attracted to men, and he wanted to make something out of it.

 

"You can speak Japanese and I will speak Korean," the other man said, "I think we'll understand each other best like that. I'm Taeyong, by the way."

 

"That sounds good. I'm Yuta." He read Taeyong's list slowly, and it was rather strange. It had things like Piano and Photography crossed out.

 

"I've been putting off the sports," Taeyong said with a laugh. "Think I might as well cross them out without trying. I hate sports. Kind of old for them anyway."

 

"What is this even for?" Yuta asked incredulously.

 

Taeyong cringed. "Don't judge, but I'm exploring career options."

 

"...why? And in Japan?"

 

"I'm here for work," Taeyong said, slightly defensive.

 

Yuta looked at the list again and figured opportunities were fated to fall into his lap. "I'm saying this with every single ulterior motive imaginable," he said, "but I teach at a dance school and you should take my offer for a free lesson."

 

An intake a breath, a considering look, a flirtatious smirk - slightly hesitant. Yuta wanted to spend enough time with Taeyong to get used to all those reactions. He viewed the rest of his life with anticipation as Taeyong scrawled another line into his list.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Years later, everything came to light.

 

Taeyong | Yuta

 

_"Mmmph."_

 

"Babe, you're at 500k. Wake up."

 

_"....huuh?"_

 

Yuta pulled the covers off his sleepy lover and waved his phone in front of him. Taeyong squinted in the face of the bright light.

 

"That's a lot of views," he mumbled blearily.

 

Yuta snorted. "Ya think?"

 

"...mmmmm."

 

Yuta ruffled his hair affectionately and hid him under the blankets again. "We'll talk in the real morning."

 

_"...'night."_

 

_\---_

 

Doyoung | Taeil

 

Doyoung came back home to Taeil watching a video. The lights were off even though it was dark. It was as though Taeil had been so absorbed that he hadn't noticed the sun going down. Doyoung stunned him by flicking the lights on.

 

"Hey, what's up?" he asked, going to the kitchen to place his socks with the rest of their laundry.

 

"You know the guy who told me to stay in school?"

 

"Mmm yeah, you've mentioned him." Doyoung fished his car keys out of his pocket, and loosened his tie. Letting Taeil take off his cufflinks was one of the stupid domestic things they did as a couple, but Taeil seemed too distracted to remember.

 

"I think I found him on YouTube. I'm not sure though, 'cos the channel is Japanese."

 

"Could just be someone who looks the same," Doyoung said.

 

"But the song is in Korean. That's why I keep looking at it. He dances now. He's really good."

 

"You could send him a message?" Doyoung suggested, rolling up his tie. He glanced at the back of Taeil's head. "Or I could, if you don't want to use your account."

 

Taeil hummed. "No, I think I should do it myself. Thanks though. I hope it's him. This guy looks happy."

 

Doyoung smiled. Taeil's heart was always filled with affirming thoughts, even to random people who had said all of three lines to him. But the guy  _did_ do something good for Taeil, whether he knew it or not, so Doyoung guessed he'd deserve it if he managed to find his way as well.

 

"You want to send it before we go for dinner?"

 

Taeil shook his head. "I need to think about what to say."

 

Doyoung smiled then, blinding as the first time Taeil spoke to him properly. It was an honour to be able to bring those smiles out.

 

"Let's have something nice then. It's Friday night. Friday nights are nights to have fun."

 

Fun could be a few hours pushing through the night market outside and having junk food for dinner, or it could be anything to do with Doyoung's kink for ice cold strawberries. Either way, Taeil was happy to indulge.

 

\---

 

Taeil | Taeyong

 

_Direct message sent by Moon Taeil to Limitless Dance Academy JPN:_

 

Hi, I hope this isn't weird, but I hope you can let the dancer who danced to Lee Hyori in the video read this.

 

I'm not sure if you're the same person or if you'll remember, but we went to the same PC Bang at one point and you gave me some advice. If you're the same person, I'm very thankful for what you said, and I hope you're doing well now! You dance very well. I watched your video many times because you were so good. I know we didn't talk much, but you changed my life, so thank you.

 

\---

 

Doyoung | Yuta

 

Doyoung received a text message from a number he hadn't contacted in years. Yuta used to drop by his place whenever he visited Korea and Doyoung liked him a lot. If they hadn't lived in different countries, and if Yuta hadn't been so unbelievably flighty, Doyoung might have tried to initiate something more permanent. He had dreaded having to break off their lovely arrangement because he was in a committed relationship. He didn't have to in the end, for Yuta stopped contacting him at around the same time. He figured that someone must have finally tied Yuta down. If he had still been single, Doyoung might have been jealous.

 

The message was unexpected, to say the least. The content of the message was even less expected.

 

> Yuta: DUDE YOU KNOW MOON TAEIL
> 
>  
> 
> Doyoung: How do you know that??? We're not online friends
> 
>  
> 
> Yuta: HE SENT MY DANCE SCHOOL A MESSAGE YOU'RE IN HIS PROFILE PIC. WE'RE OLD FRIENDS
> 
>  
> 
> Doyoung: !!!!!! SINCE WHEN
> 
>  
> 
> Yuta: Remember I was a transfer student??? Are you together? He's too nice for you
> 
>  
> 
> Doyoung: He is, but excuse you!!
> 
>  
> 
> Yuta: You're kind of bitchy honestly
> 
>  
> 
> Doyoung: ...have you met yourself? I can't believe you read his message. What are the chances??
> 
>  
> 
> Yuta: I nearly died. Moon Taeil!! And you guys together!!!!!!
> 
>  
> 
> Doyoung: I can't believe you know him?? Anyway, how is Taeil's guy?
> 
>  
> 
> Yuta: Busy choreographing, I'll tell him to get back to you later. It would be TOO MUCH if he's actually the guy. We're close
> 
>  
> 
> Doyoung: I can't even get over the fact that you know Taeil let alone think about that guy being the guy
> 
>  
> 
> Yuta: TELL ME ABOUT IT?? Anyway me and my boyfriend are visiting SK in two days or so. Wanna catch up?
> 
>  
> 
> Doyoung: Sure

 

\---

 

Taeil | Yuta

 

Doyoung took Taeil to a hotel for lunch, for a reason he was secretive about. Taeil _thought_ he understood why when he caught sight of a familiar someone entering the restaurant from the corner of his eye. He was about to ask Doyoung how he arranged this meeting with the person Taeil was trying to contact online when he saw someone else following him from behind.

 

His heart stopped before it started again. Yuta walked in, and brought with him all the feelings Taeil had fought so hard to repress. Taeil's eyes were affixed to Yuta's person - his smile, his casual gait, the dark twinkle in his eyes that hadn't changed. His pulse quickened like a rabbit's. His instincts screamed at him to run, but he was rooted in place in the face of danger.

 

It was his first love back to haunt him. The same person who had taught how deeply the heart could feel, then made him experience how much it could hurt. His smile was friendly as it always was, as though nothing had changed. He knew  _nothing_ about the impact he'd had on Taeil's life - how could he, when Taeil had never told him?

 

How could it be that the amount of  _want_ Taeil felt towards him only grew as time passed? Why was he disposed, again, to recklessly throw away everything he'd made of his life just for Yuta?

 

_This was a mistake,_ his conscience screeched. Taeil wouldn't have made himself meet Yuta again. He had grown to love Doyoung, so his rational mind would have stopped him from seeking Yuta. But Doyoung did this, without asking him, and the peace he once knew was disrupted irreversibly. It was wrong to introduce Yuta to him when he was in a new stage of life, for Yuta would pollute the new stage, occupy it, build himself a place there, and Taeil wouldn't be able to do a damn thing about it. He wanted to only love Doyoung, he wanted to be happy with a life with him forever, but with Yuta dangled in front of him like this, he knew it was a desperate wish.

 

He had to tell Doyoung something,  _anything._ Apologise for his sins perhaps, or seek assurance in lies. But when he turned to Doyoung, he found him as confounded as he was.

 

"Lee- Lee Taeyong?" he croaked.

 

Taeil whipped around to look at the guy from the video. He was looking back at Doyoung and there was recognition in his eyes.

 

What the hell was going on?

 

\---

 

Doyoung | Taeyong

 

Doyoung was probably the biggest symbol of failure in Taeyong's life. He used to want to be everything Doyoung was. He used to think that if he did everything Doyoung did, his family would be happy; that they wouldn't be able to help it. After all the trouble they'd been through bringing him up, he wished, sometimes, that he could be the sort of person they knew was better than everyone else's child.

 

But they were happy now. They came to all of the academy's productions in Japan and shared his class' videos with everyone who would watch. He never thought he would grow too old to treasure his parents' pride in him.

 

Regardless, he expected Doyoung to still be a sore spot. Taeyong had never understood why Doyoung bothered with him in high school. He must have found something amusing about hanging around him for so long, even though the person he was back then wasn't really worth anyone's time.

 

He wasn't useless anymore. He was happy with his humble life. He found something he loved doing and he was good at it. It gave him direction. He was surrounded by people who had fun with his skill. He'd become self-sufficient.

 

Doyoung was here, still living a life Taeyong never had an entry point into. It was funny to think that their lives had converged at one point. They were different. It was reflected in the nicely ironed creases of his shirt and the watch that cost as much as Taeyong earned in months, and the red hoodie that Taeyong had worn hundreds of times. Doyoung carried himself like a proper working adult, distinguished glasses and everything! It was pretty impressive. Taeyong never had reason to play dress-up.

 

But he didn't yearn for it any longer. His work was about the same as Yuta's and he thought the world of Yuta. Being Doyoung was a flight of joyless fancy that he wouldn't give his own passion up for, now that he'd found one.

 

All things considered, he was happy that Doyoung was the person Taeyong had imagined he would be. He'd given up so much of his youth to grind for it after all. He still had that same untouchable air: faultless, driven, zealous.

 

And Taeyong was happy for himself.

 

So when he was unexpectedly confronted with the sight of Doyoung again, he felt no ill will towards anyone. It was freeing.

 

"Lee- Lee Taeyong," Doyoung stammered.

 

"Hello," Taeyong said, and his laugh was one of liberation.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, this fic is alive.

Doyoung | Taeil

 

Doyoung wished he had never agreed to meet Yuta for lunch, because for the first time in his life, everything was spiralling out of his hands.

 

He had never fully sympathised with people who allowed their lives to be swung completely off course. There had never been anything in his life that he could not gain control over; everything he wanted was obtainable even if it was hard. Everything had always been within his grasp as long as he was disciplined. He'd suffered for what he wanted, but it was always a matter of choice.

 

This was out of his control.

 

Taeyong's turning up out of nowhere - as _Yuta's boyfriend! -_  had shaken him completely off balance because Doyoung almost never thought about him. When the thought of him brushed against his mind, it was always the teenaged version of him that Doyoung felt a vague sense of apology towards. Taeyong was, for all intents and purposes, a chapter he grew from. He wasn't supposed to see him again.

 

It was enough that Doyoung took too long to see what else was going on at the same time. He would have dragged Taeil out by the collar if he had noticed earlier - but judging by the look on Taeil's face he would have been too late anyway.

 

Taeil was a besotted puppy with woebegone eyes dressed up in casual conversation. He matched Yuta's extroversion with little quips and did not look at Doyoung. There was a desperate yearning that was plain to see that hadn't been around even when Doyoung had just met him.

 

Taeil hadn't been in love with his ex when Doyoung had met him. Taeil was, for certain, in love with Yuta.

 

And wasn't that funny? Doyoung always fancied himself as having been a little too attached to Yuta for someone who seemed to see Korea as a rest stop from life. He'd even felt a little guilty for never officially cutting himself off from Yuta once he was attached. It seemed that Taeil had bigger secrets to hide.

 

He could see how this mess happened. Yuta was chattering away completely oblivious to everything happening around him, and Taeil's poor but valiant efforts to bury all his feelings actually  _worked_ on Yuta.

 

He met Taeyong's eyes across the table, and they flickered to Taeil and back with some concern. Doyoung kept his face carefully stoic. He wouldn't confirm anything. Taeyong could suspect all he wanted, but if he didn't get any response he'd have nothing to bring to Yuta's attention.

 

"I can't believe coincidences like this happen," Yuta said for the third time.

 

Neither could Doyoung.

 

Taeil wasn't gravitating to his side as he usually did. He wasn't meeting Doyoung's eyes. His shoulders were tense and his movements were restless.

 

They had to talk, but Doyoung knew that it was over. Twenty minutes ago he believed he was in a stable relationship. Everything was crumbling and all he could do was watch.

 

They shouldn't have gone for lunch.

 

\---

 

Taeyong | Yuta

 

Did he have the right, Yuta wondered, to feel a little bit heartbroken when he had done the heart-breaking?

 

"Are you sure you're not coming?" Taeyong asked, looking over his shoulder as he placed the last of his clothing in his luggage bag. He was as lovely as a spring day, with the kind of brightness that made your heart soar and made wings grow on your feet. Yuta hadn't grown tired of him in all seven of their years together - _seven._ Closer to a decade than anything.

 

Yuta smiled crookedly. "Nah."

 

He been through numerous iterations of _'it's not you it's me'_ over the past month or so with Taeyong because he didn't want to follow him home. Taeyong's mother's health had deteriorated a few months back so he decided it was time to bid Japan farewell to stay closer to her. Taeyong never planned to live in Tokyo forever anyway.

 

When he'd first brought it up to Yuta, he'd been hopeful. Yuta liked Seoul, and he had no qualms about only seeing his family in Osaka once a year. There wasn't any reason not to expect him to go along. Even Yuta knew that.

 

But living in the same house as someone (even if it was for years and you never had plans for it to end) wasn't the same as packing up your bags for someone. It was commitment, wasn't it? If you moved to another country for someone else and applied for permanent residence and everything, you'd be with them for the rest of your life. Yuta loved Taeyong, but he couldn't make himself do it.

 

Taeyong didn't push it for too long. He wasn't going to coerce Yuta into a corner he wasn't happy being in when it came to such a major decision.

 

Honestly, Yuta thought he'd been perfect about it the whole time. He was disappointed enough that Yuta knew he was still wanted, but completely empathetic. Better still, there was no fragility in his reaction so Yuta could let him go alone without worries. Yuta wished he was coping that well.

 

"If visit your family again I won't come back," Yuta admitted honestly. He didn't know why he said that. Was he waiting for Taeyong to take advantage of that fact, or was it because he knew that Taeyong wouldn't?

 

Taeyong's smile was laced with melancholy as he tugged Yuta down to give him a kiss. How many more of those would they have?

 

"Promise to send me to the airport then," he said. "It's the least you could do."

 

Yuta kissed him, then kissed him again. "Promise."

 

\---

 

Doyoung | Taeyong

 

Doyoung slowed his car down when he saw a familiar figure walking briskly down the sidewalk at night. He rolled down a window and called out, "Taeyong, hey."

 

Taeyong hated in his steps. Their faces were both illuminated by cars passing in the next lane. "Doyoung!" he exclaimed.

 

Doyoung tilted his head towards his empty passenger seat. "I can give you a lift if you want. It would be good to catch up."

 

Taeyong grinned thankfully. "You're great. I've been on my feet all day and they hurt." He got in quickly and Doyoung released the handbrake.

 

"Use your seatbelt," he nagged, "I'm not getting into trouble with the law."

 

He could hear amusement in Taeyong's voice, but his seatbelt clicked so Doyoung didn't protest. "Aren't you a big-shot prosecutor?" 

 

"Do I work in hell, you mean," Doyoung grumbled.

 

Taeyong laughed. "I guess it's the same thing."

 

"Where are we going?"

 

"Ah- my parents' place. They haven't moved since high school."

 

Doyoung filtered to the left lane to make a U-turn. When that was done, he spoke again. It was easy to talk while driving when he knew the roads there like the back of his hand. "Your job isn't hell is it? You seem happy."

 

"It's fun. I still slip up and give instructions in Japanese sometimes. It's kind of funny."

 

"Takes more than a few months to get over that." Doyoung's gaze flickered to Taeyong then back in front. "Ignore me if I'm intruding, but have you spoken to Yuta recently?"

 

Taeyong blew out a mouthful of air. "Nah not so much. I think he'll talk to me when he's ready."

 

"He called me up some time back. He tried to make it sound like he was making fun of me because you guys lasted two years longer than me and Taeil did. In the end he spent ten minutes talking about how it was his fault."

 

"I don't think it was," Taeyong said thoughtfully. "Sometimes people want different things. You can't always compromise and decide to want the same thing." Then he scoffed. "Yuta isn't going to call you back after he's been emotional. He'll be too embarrassed."

 

Doyoung let out an exaggerated sigh. "He _blocked_ me, what an ass. Anyway he asked me to tell you he was sorry but he didn't send me your number."

 

Taeyong did have a rather startlingly bright laugh. This  _brightness_ had been a quality he'd acquired with age and experience while Doyoung had been rotting in his office. It was...nice, actually. A world away from the insecure high-school repeat student he had been.

 

"Typical Yuta," Taeyong said fondly. "What's the point of being sorry? I'll send him a text. Thanks for telling me, Doyoung."

 

"Don't mention it." He turned into the familiar corner to Taeyong's home. He'd been too young to drive when he frequented the place, which was funny to think about. "Your stop."

 

"Thanks." Taeyong unfastened his seatbelt but didn't make a move to get out. "Hey, if you're not in a rush to anywhere do you want to stop by? My mum remembers you. I think she'll want to see you again. Plus I'm cooking."

 

Doyoung didn't see why not.

 

\---

 

Doyoung | Yuta

 

"Don't kill me," was the first thing Yuta said once Doyoung picked up the phone, "I want to know more about how to go about becoming a permanent resident of Korea."

 

Doyoung allowed the silence to drag for long enough to become tense, because Yuta deserved to be punished.

 

"Look, you're the smartest person I know," Yuta tried again. "I need your help. What are my chances of getting accepted?"

 

Doyoung smirked a little bitterly as he placed his phone down. He wondered if Yuta would still be on the line if he ignored him for a full minute.

 

He picked it up again when the second hand of his office clock made a round trip. Yuta was indeed still on the line.

 

"You blocked me for a _year_ ," he hissed, interrupting whatever Yuta was on about.

 

He could practically hear Yuta wince across the line. Doyoung liked that Yuta found him somewhat intimidating, he really did. There were times that he worried that he'd grown old too softly, and talking to Taeyong regularly didn't help. Softness was unbecoming of his profession.

 

"I'm sorry," Yuta said. He sounded impressively contrite.

 

"Why are you moving here all of a sudden?"

 

Yuta hesitated. Doyoung didn't chase him for an answer. Yuta had always been the sort of person to act before he figured out why he acted.

 

"For myself," Yuta said eventually. "It's not because of Taeyong or anything - I know that's not how relationships work. But I want to be there now."

 

"So you're doing it on a whim?" Doyoung accused.

 

"Not a whim," Yuta said slowly.

 

"What does Taeyong think about this?" Doyoung asked, and decided that he wouldn't help if Yuta hadn't been considerate enough to inform him. It would be betrayal of a sort.

 

"He said good luck, and he asked me to unblock you and ask you instead. I'M SORRY," he added quickly before Doyoung could hang up on him again. What kind of _ass_ blocked their own friends and needed their _exes_ to remind them to undo that? Doyoung should have hung up. He was getting soft, truly.

 

"I'll get back to you," Doyoung said shortly and cut the call off. He took some childish pleasure from blocking Yuta's contact. He'd e-mail Yuta everything he needed to know eventually, but Yuta deserved to worry for a while.

 

\---

 

Taeil | Yuta

 

The entire day was pretty damn surreal if you asked Taeil. It had everything to do with Yuta.

 

For one thing, he was a wonderful _wonderful_ human being, gorgeous and animated and relentlessly _fun_ all in a kind and (occasionally) sensitive package. For another, _did he really not know?_

 

Taeil guessed he had only been chosen to play tour guide to Yuta's new residence because he was embroiled in some kind of petty cold war with Doyoung. He didn't mind. Yuta was a comfortable to be around as he had been during that year in uni - what was that, eleven years ago? Taeil's infatuation with him was far too long-drawn to be healthy.

 

But it was hard to stay silent about it. He'd grown out of his crippling shyness and he had his own network at work, so it wasn't that he looked at Yuta as some kind of saviour. He used to wonder if it was that.

 

He was just stupidly, stupidly in love.

 

Yuta nudged him wickedly in the ribs for something or other, and he decided to make a leap.

 

"I've been in love with you for years," he confessed.

 

Yuta's breath caught. He stared blankly as he put all the pieces of his memories together. Taeil was calmer than he'd expected to be. If it worked...well, great. If it didn't, then maybe it was time to move on, somehow.

 

"You never said," Yuta breathed quietly.

 

Taeil shrugged. "I'm saying it now."

 

Yuta was silent for a few moments. "Do you think it's too late to try?" he asked finally.

 

It was like a dream. "No," Taeil said.

 

Maybe it'd work out. God, he hoped it would.

 

\---

 

Taeil | Taeyong

 

"You do realise that me and you are the only ones who haven't been involved out of the four of us," Taeyong said in lieu of a greeting as he slipped into the seat opposite Taeil's. He seemed amused by the fact more than anything.

 

Taeil had invited him out without going through Yuta, because he wanted to deal with anything they had unresolved and they would never manage with him around. Taeil hadn't even thanked Taeyong properly when they finally met again at that lunch date because he'd had been so distracted.

 

"It's crazy," Taeil agreed. He eyed the tall cup of something cold and chocolate-y Taeyong had brought along. "I was going to treat."

 

The corner of Taeyong's mouth quirked up. "There's no need, though you could get me another one if you want. How's life with Yuta going?"

 

Taeil tried not to puff up with too much pleasure, but Taeyong snickered so he couldn't have done a good job of it.

 

"It's complicated, but I'm happy for you," Taeyong said. "I'm happy for Yuta too, I think."

 

Taeil didn't sense any tension coming from him. He was certain he wouldn't have been able to manage the same kind of magnanimity.

 

"Thank you," he said sincerely.

 

"Don't let him slack off from chores too often," Taeyong added good-naturedly. "That's the best thing about being away from him. You can tell him I said that."

 

Taeil smiled. "I will." He watched as Taeyong took a gulp of his drink. Given that both the most important of his relationships had links with this man, it was difficult to refrain noticing things they might have noticed about him. As Taeyong swallowed, he admitted that yeah, he definitely saw the appeal. There was a bit of something to him that Taeil wouldn't dwell upon, lest it grew troublesome.

 

"I'm going to have to take you up on that offer to treat," Taeyong said after a beat. "It's been a long day, I'm running on empty."

 

Taeil couldn't help but laugh. After worrying about this encounter for so long, he was relieved that it was going as well as it was.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on twitter at [taeyongiiee](https://twitter.com/taeyongiiee) and tumblr at [taeyongie](http://taeyongie.tumblr.com/)!


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